Shishi got dumped!
by SirenOfSaturn
Summary: What happens when our poor little Shishi is dumped for the very first time? Now it's up to Touya, Jin, Chu, Rinku, and Suzuka to snap him out of his depression. Wait, What's up with Suzuka?
1. The intervention begins!

Hi there! This is Neko-chan saying…I own nothing!

Shishi got dumped!

It was truly a beautiful spring day. The sakura blossoms were in full bloom, birds were chirping, and couples were taking long pleasure stoles hand in hand. There was one particular house that was home to five happy occupants; two ninjas, one drunken Aussie, an ex-clown, and a yo-yo kid. However, there was also another occupant. This person was a bird-demon samurai.

His name was Shishiwakamaru; know to his ever-adoring fan girls as Shishi. The charmed looking man was known for his good looks, and well kept appearance. There he lay on his futon in his black boxers with little red kiss lips on them. His body, and the rest of his room were surrounded by chips, pocky boxes, and a ton of cans of empty litchi cola. You see our poor vain little birdie had just been dumped!

"I'm…so…not pretty…not ugly, but not pretty…"

Don't worry Shishi wasn't dumped by someone he loved, Inari no! He had just been…dumped. Him Shishiwakamru dumped! These words were not supposed to go together! "I don't understand…I have my own fan club! How the hell could I have been dumped?"

(Stars go here)

The other occupants of the house looked up at the ceiling from the living room, where the shouting was coming from.

"He's been in there for a week." Touya stated. "He's really starting to let himself go."

"Touya's right." Suzuka sighed. "…I feel guilty."

"Why?" Everyone asked.

"He got dumped mate. How does that make ya feel guilty?" Chuu asked.

"Yeah, how cou'd ya be fell'n that way. Tis got noth'n to do with ya?" The wind master asked.

"…Err. Nothing must just be a sympathy pain instead…or something." Suzuka chuckled nervously receiving weird stares from his friends.

"Hmm. It's not that he's not training or leaving his room. Not to mention that fact that he's eating all **_MY _** junk food!" Rinku huffed. "He's just so…quiet. My room is right next to his, and I played that song 'Scotty doesn't know' like 30 times in a row and he didn't once yell at me."

Everyone sighed, and Suzuka coughed. "We have to get him out of there." Touya stated.

"OH! I've got an idea, Toy!" Jin smiled, his ears pointed up and wiggling.

"Don't hurt yourself, mate." Chuu warned.

"That would explain the beads of sweat." Suzuka mumbled.

"You do look flushed." Touya observed.

"Shishi's doomed." Rinku concluded.

"Now, now h'air me out guys!"

Silence

"We're going to do…an intermission!"

Sweat drop

"This isn't a play Jin." Suzuka stated.

"I think he means, an intervention." Touya corrected.

"Are you sure?" Rinku spoke up, "I mean if we all gang up on Shishi…well he does still have his sword…and his claws and teeth."

"Well it's the only way, ee's evar go'in to get up!" Jin said, ears standing on end in excitement.

"I never thought I'd say this…but Jin's right." Touya said, eyes darting around waiting to be struck by lightening. This was the sign for the end of the world, wasn't it?

"Alright! Everyone in?"

/Chorus of mumbled 'yes's/

"Great…who's first?"

Everyone then turned to face Suzuka. "Okay, I'll go up there one last time and try to reason with him."

"Here," Touya said handing him a tray with pancakes. "His daily meal besides all the junk food he's been stuffing himself on."

Suzuka nodded, took the tray, and headed up stairs. Once he arrived in front of the room he knocked on the door with his knee. "Um…Shishiwakamaru? I…I got some breakfast for you. Why don't you come out and eat it with the rest of us?"

"YOU KNOW THE DRILL! LEAVE THE TRAY BY THE DOOR AND BACK AWAY!" Suzuka 'eeped', dropped the tray, and ran back down stairs.

/stars go here/

"Okay, it's time to start." Touya announced. "Chuu, you're our first man in."

"Really?" The Aussie asked standing. "I'm honored you bastards picked me. Don't worry I'll give ol' Shishi a good talking to." Chuu started up the stairs. (Hey just so you know in Australia, 'Bastard' is actually a term of affection between friends, kind of like the Japanese suffixes like chan and kun. Don't worry Chuu's not being mean!)

45 seconds later…

Chuu came tumbling down the stairs. "He-just-Good Lord in heaven!" Suzuka came up and tried to comfort the Aussie demon. "There, there. We knew he'd send away the first one. Could not afford to blow one of our strong opponents.

"That's it I'm going." Rinku said putting down his game boy.

"You are?" Touya asked. "That's very brave of you."

"Brave nothing!" Rinku huffed. "He has my Pocky!" Rinku yelled running up the stairs to win his snack back!

/more stars/

"Well Rinku's been up there a pretty long time." Suzuka mussed.

/More stars/

"Time check." Touya ordered.

"14 minutes."

"Too long! Too long!"

"Shishi could have smothered him with a pillow…" Suzuka mused. "And we would never have known."

/more little stars/

"We have got to get Rinku out of there!"

"Chuu," Touya spoke. "Go get him."

"ME? Are you mad, mate? I can't, I close my eyes and I still see that-that face. It was just horrible."

"He's like your lad!" Jin added. "Go get 'em!"

Chuu looked up at his pressuring 'friends'. "Lets draw straws!"

/starry time starry time all for you starry time/

Chuu stood outside of Shishi's room and slowly opened the door. He peered his head inside only to find Rinku curled up at the foot of Shishi's bed surrounded by Pocky boxes. Perched higher on the bed was Shishi clad only in his kiss boxers playing with Rinku's game boy. 'Must have done a trade.' Chuu guessed. Suddenly Shishi paused the game allowing his head to slowly roll towards the door. Horns popped out of his head and his nose shrank some as he let out a low growl. Chuu panicked not wanting to relive the last nightmare, closed the door and ran back down stairs.

And that concludes chapter one! Please don't flame me! I really love Shishi, and Jin, and the others. I don't mean to bash them so much so don't take it personally if you are a die-hard fan. I feel that way for Touya. Next chapter, what's going on? Will Rinku get out of the room? Will Chu recover? Who's going in next? And what is up with Suzuka? Why is he so nervous? Your reviews help the story get up faster, next time on Shishi got dumped!


	2. Shishi's realization and Suzuka's secret

"Well," Suzuka sighed. "We're in day nine of the Shishiwakamaru hold up…this could be a long summer."

"Hey I got an idea." Rinku said putting down his game boy. After Shishi had gotten tiered of it he physically tossed both boy and game out of his room. "Why don't we turn up the thermostat in his room and sweat him out?"

"NO!" Everyone else argued.

"Bad idea little bugger, he may only be in his skinnies now, but he might want to lose those if he gets too hot." Chu grimaced.

"And that is something we all do not need to see." Touya shivered.

"Okay then," Jin said standing. "I be hav'in a go at it then." The wind master proclaimed rising up and floating up the stairs to the samurai's room. Once he reached the point were the others would have knocked on the door, he swung it open loud and clear. "Hey Shishi! How's it go' in?"

"Hello Jin." Shishi greeted. "…OUT!"

"Nah, seriously I been wonder'n about ye."

"Oh, well. I have been better. Thank you for your concern…OUT!"

"Come on Shishi. Just because a lass been dump'in ya is no reason to be down in the soil." Jin said sitting Indian style in mid air.

"Look windy!" Shishi growled putting down his magazine. (Cough, cough, playboy, cough, cough) "I am not in the mood for your annoying ways, not get out! NOW!"

"Aw come on Shishi!" Jin sighed, picking up the magazine and flipping through it. "You need to snap out of-Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! How can she do that!"

Shishi growled snatching the magazine out of the wind master's hand. "Didn't anyone every tell you it's rude to take things from other people without asking!"

"Oh yeah, Toy tells me that constantly. But he doesn't have anything like that."

"Check under his bed." Shishi mumbled.

"Come on Shishi, at least get up for a lidd'le bit?"

"No."

"Aw, come on. I haven't had a good argument in a week."

"…Nah."

"Man you're down! Okay then…if ye don't get up…I'm going to crawl in that bed with ya until you do!"

Shishiwakamaru stared at the wind master, eye twitching slightly. "What?"

"Yes I am!"

stars stars stars stars stars

Meanwhile, downstairs the other occupants were waiting for results.

"Jin's been up there sense 11:32. What time is it now?" Suzuka asked.

"11:49"

"11:53"

"6:20"

The ice mastered sighed. "Well, I guess we all forgot to synchronize our watches. And Chu, either your watch is upside down, or you're still on Australian time."

"Oh yeah."

"I wonder if Jin is having any luck." Rinku asked.

CRASH

PUNCH

KICK

BANG

THUD

BOOM

THUD…THUD…THUD…

Everyone looked at the bottom of the stairs to see the Irish man tumbling down it. "Well the good news is." Jin smiled holding a bruised cheek. "His strength is still as good as ever. Heh heh." Jin continued to stumble to the couch. "I think I be tak'n a quick nap all."

"Alright, alright." Touya sighed, standing up. "I guess it's my turn."

"Oh Toy," Jin mumbled from the couch. "Remember, he favors his left side…and stay off his bed."

"I'll…keep that in mind." Touya said walking away, pretty sure he knew more than he needed to. The ice master journeyed up to the second floor to the bird demon's room, were many had stood before for the past week. "Shishiwakamaru?" Touya asked knocking.

"Go away!"

"I have chocolate."

"…What kind?"

"Godiva."

"Come in."

Touya sighed, as he came in. "Gods you're gullible."

"…You lied about Godivas!"

"I'm afraid so."

"That is just cruel! You don't joke about Godivas!"

"Shishi look at yourself!" Touya exclaimed walking around the piles of food wrappers. "Keep this up and Weight Watchers is going to be calling you in a few months."

"Can it ice boy!" Shishi hissed throwing a pillow. Touya dodged it easily. "Your aim is off." He observed. "You sure know how to make a guy feel important." Shishi mumbled.

"Is it so bad you got dumped?" Touya asked clearing a space on the floor and sitting down.

"I have never been dumped before in my life!" Shishi yelled.

"First time for everything."

"Which one of your little ninja, quiet, philosophical-bull teachers taught you that?"

"Look Shishi, there is more to life than having a popular social reputation. You have other good qualities that are not all about vanity, and good looks. It's all the inside things that are important."

"So what would you say my good inner qualities are?"

"…Well…"

"…I'm waiting."

5 minutes later.

"Touya you're really not helping."

"Just let me think here…you're honorable…when it comes to your benefit. You also work hard…if it's to your benefit…and…um."

"GET OUT!"

"Sorry." Touya mumbled walking out the door, only to find Suzuka.

"How'd it go?" The ex-clown asked.

"I failed."

"You tried to tell him about his good inner qualities, only to find there is none right?"

"Damn he really is a egotistical little narcissist!" Touya yelled going to his own room.

"Wish me luck!" All Suzuka received was a short laugh. "That's reassuring…Shishiwakamaru!" Suzuka announced opening the door. "I'm here!"

"Gods I hope you're the last one."

"Me too. We're running out of people who care about you." Suzuka said digging through a bag.

"Just leave, unless you have food in there. I tried to order a pizza, but they wouldn't deliver it through the window!"

"I have something to show you." Suzuka said dumping the bag onto the bed. Out of the bag came about five pounds of keys. "…My key collection?" Shishi observed.

"Shishi. You have more keys than a blacksmith! Each key goes to a girls home! Except these key cards you kept from the tournament's hotel."

"Crap forgot to return those."

"The point is this one." Suzuka said holding up one house key. "Sakura's key."

"How dare you mention that kisama's name! She dumped me!"

"You think I don't know that?" Suzuka sighed. "The point is Shishi this is just one key gone from the rest. You still have 900 others! Do you know how many girls love you? Want to marry you? Want to have your baby? Want to have a crappy one night stand?"

"Who said my one night stands were crappy!"

"Who want you to just freaking look at them? For the gods sake they were throwing you their tops at the tournament!"

"…Yes well."

"There are plenty of fish in they sea! And in the ocean of Shishiwakamaru, there are millions of fish! They all want you! Right?"

"Right."

"So who cares about this one key?" Suzuka said pocketing it. "Or this?" He said reaching under Shishi's bed.

"What are you looking for?"

"You're 'little' black book." Suzuka said yanking out a black binding the size of a phone book and slamming it on the floor. Suzuka began to flip through the pages. "Sakura Mi, Sakura Rei, Sakura Soma, Sakura Toba, ah Sakura Yui! Do you have a pen?"

Shishi reached over to his nightstand and handed him a sharpie. "Here."

The clown took the pen and began to cross out the one girl's name and number. "Good now you see ALL of the other woman's names in here?"

"Yes."

"Except for this one tiny name. They are putty in you hands!"

"I AM SEX LORD MASTER OF DESIRE!"

"Yes I'm sure. Now I'm going to take a shower. Finish what is left of your self pity, and come down stairs and eat something healthy." The clown said slamming the book closed and leaving.

"Um…Suzuka."

"What?" The blonde asked looking over his shoulder.

"…You know. Thanks."

"What are friends for? Thank the others too. I was just using them to mellow you out as the days went on. Giving you a chance to cool down before I could come up here and cure your stupidity."

"Hey!"

Suzuka snickered, and walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

Shishi sighed and began to cloth himself, after running a hand through his hair he decided that as soon as the shower was free he was next. Tying the sash to his kimono he walked down stairs to face his other friends.

"Shishi's up!" Rinku yelled dropping his yo-yos.

"About time mate!

"Here, here. Thought we was go' in to have tie ya up and roll ye down the stairs by force."

"I was actually getting the rope." Touya admitted.

"Um, well." Shishi looked at his feet. " About all that…I'm so-so-s-s-sor-"

"You're forgivin!" Everyone sighed.

"Thank you." The bird demon sighed.

"So, Suzuka really got you up." Touya observed.

"Yeah, he's in the shower, I'm in there next after I make a salad."

"Good idea," Jin smiled. "Ye really need it. Ye start' in to smell like biggy!"

"Gee thanks." Shishi glared, walking into the kitchen.

"Well," Touya sighed sitting in the recliner. "Now that, that little adventure is over, maybe we can get Suzuka acting normal again."

"Yeah." Rinku agreed. "He's been acting really weird, sense Sakura broke up with Shishi."

"And then he said he felt guilty." Chu shrugged taking a swig of his drink.

"Wonder what's got him all in a fuss." Jin asked looking out the window.

Meanwhile up stairs in the shower Suzuka was lathering up his hair with the shampoo. "Well I have to admit I've always been good actor. However, I really can't let this go on forever. Eventually Shishi is going to find out the truth about why Sakura broke up with him." Suzuka sighed and began to sing as he rinsed out his hair.

"Oi!

Shishi doesn't know

That Sakura and me,  
Do it in his room every Sunday  
She tells him she's at Genkai's

But she doesn't go,  
Still she's on her knees, and…

Shishi doesn't know, oh

Shishi doesn't know-oh

So don't tell Shishi!

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

SO DON'T TELL SHISHI!

Sakura says she's out shopping,

But she's under me and I'm not stopping

So don't tell Shishi!

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

So don't tell Shishi,

I can't believe Shishi's so trusting,

While I'm right behind her thrusting.   
Sakura's got him on the phone,

And she's trying not to moan.

My room is right down the hall,

And he knows nothing.

NOTHING!

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know

Shishi doesn't know

Don't tell Shishi

Cuz Shishi doesn't know

Shishi doesn't knoooooooooooooow

So don't tell Shishi!

We put on a show, after everyone had to go

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't knoooooow…  
The dojo? Lets go!

You look good in his kimono.

In his favorite tree, three times in a row

We laughed so hard, cuz…

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know.

I did her at his birthday.  
Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

Shishi doesn't know,

Don't tell Shishi.

Shishi doesn't knooooooooooooow…  
Shishi can't know,

Shishi wont know,

Shishi's can't know,

Or he'll kill me,

Shishi can't know  
Shishi wont know

Shishi can't know

Shishi wont know,

Shishi can't,

Shishi has to go!

Shishi doesn't know,

Don't tell Shish

Shishi doesn't know,

Don't tell Shishi

Shishi doesn't know…

Shishi's gotta go! "

Suzuka finished his song as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waste.

Meanwhile downstairs Shishi was half way through his salad when he began to sneeze. "That's funny, my ears are burning."

Owari

Wow! I can't believe I'm finished! I just want to say again that I own nothing, including characters, Scotty doesn't know, etc. No sue! I also want to apologize for any bashing. I love these characters, and I mean no harm! So what did you think? Please review, because I'm thinking of posting another story with these characters, but I need reassurance! So please review!


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